You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
