Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
They took my balls.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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