So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
