I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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