I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
