Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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