Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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