dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd cum for enchiladas.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
