Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
