and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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