i barfeds in our rink
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Enjoy the penises
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
