So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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