I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
