NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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