I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
