can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's just like the Real World with babies
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
