i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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