I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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