I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
