There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
