Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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