it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
