Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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