I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
