Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
