i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize