There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize