roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
