My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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