I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
