we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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