Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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