plz talk dirty to me
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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