our cab driver is having phone sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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