I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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