Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!