The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Found the puke drawer
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
did you just send me my own nude
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.