we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
