Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
false alarm. still invincible.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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