Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
