this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize