Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
