He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
