She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
