You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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