i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
