He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
