Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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