We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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