some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize