your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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