I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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