Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
