I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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