talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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