The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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