I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
