Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
