i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
